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| Sardar Jokes A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin' ". ************************************************************************* SantaSingh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone. It was Banta Singh."Is this one one one one?", says the voice. "No, this is eleven eleven." "Are you sure it isn't one one one one?" "No, this is eleven eleven." "Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night." "That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway." ************************************************************************* Once Santa Singh broke his leg when he threw his cigarette butt down the manhole and tried to step on it. ************************************************************************* Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light. He tried another.It wouldn't light.The third one finally lit. He lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket."What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?" "That's a good match. I'll use it again." ************************************************************************* A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing The bystander says A Marathon race is going on Sardar : What do they get from that? Bystander : The winner will get a prize Sardar : Then why are the others running?! ************************************************************************* Santa Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the Passport size photograph of his son (for college admission).Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket.He started searching for it frantically & found the same on the floor of the bus. Politely,he asked the saree clad female,standing in front of him,"Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph" The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted in a hospital. He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him,in a still worse condition. Banta started to explain abt his "Adventure".He had gone to a remote village on some work & due to his high level of intelligence, couldn't finish the work on time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn't find any Hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night.The Owner replied"I have 2 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay". He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night.The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".He went towards the next house and without taking any risks,asked," Do you have "grown up" daughters?".The Owner asked,"WHY?????????" Banta replied, " I wanted to stay here for a night..... " ************************************************************************* 1. Then there`s the one about the Sardarji who brought his binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative of his... ************************************************************************* 2. The Sardarji Doctor to his patient: "It`s very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain." ************************************************************************* 3. There were these two Sardarji twins who looked so incredibly alike, that sometimes they borrowed money from each other without the other really knowing about it. ************************************************************************* 4. One foggy evening two Sardarjis went out walking.One of the Sardarji was holding a flashlight, and suddenly he said to his friend: "Why don`t you just climb up this light-beam when I am holding the flashlight upwards like this?" His friend looked at him and answered, "No, I can`t do that Because if I did, you would just turn off the light, and I would fall down." ************************************************************************* 5.The Sardarji doctor was so afraid of bacteria,that he cooked his ice-cubes before he put them in his drink. ************************************************************************* 6. A Sardarji was in a nightclub in New York, dancing with a beautiful woman. He whispered into her ear, "I love you." She smiled and whispered back,"I love you too!" There was a little pause,the Sardarji was thinking(??!!), then he whispered, "I love you three." ************************************************************************* Q How can you recognize an surd in a submarine? A He is the one with the parachute on his back. ************************************************************************* One sardar came to madras and wanted to do shopping in burma bazaar.his tamilian friend told the sardar that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price. Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs.Sardar asked for Rs.1000.vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which sardar told no,no only Rs.900. Vendor told ok,i will give it for 1500 Rs for which sardar bargained for Rs.750.it was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the sardar the stereo free of cost. "Our sardar asked whether he will give two." ************************************************************************* 1. Q: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?" Sardar: "No, who wrote it?" ************************************************************************* A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. Our sardar says, "I want my million." The man replied,"No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years." Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years. Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! if you're not going to give me my million right now, then I want my 1 dollar back!" ************************************************************************* Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off. "How did this happen?" the doctor asked. "Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh replied.The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?" "No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger. The Hammer(from James K.) A man is in court for murder and the judge says, 'You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.' Then a voice at the back of the court says, 'You bastard.' The judge continues, 'You are also charged with beating Your daughter to death with a hammer.' Again the voice at the back of the court says, 'You bastard.' The judge says, 'Now we cannot have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you with contempt, now what is the problem?' Then the man at the back of the court says, 'Fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard and everytime I asked to borrow a hammer he said he never had one!'
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